What You Can Do to Encourage Your Baby’s Self-Confidence from 24-36 Months:

• Delight in your child’s discoveries as he explores.  This lets him know he is interesting, important and loved.
  
  
• Give your child support in trying new things.  This tells him you believe he is smart and capable.
  
  
• Help your child understand and cope with rules.  You don’t like nap time at school. But it’s a rule. Having naptime is important because children need  time to rest. I know it’s hard to stay quiet for that whole time when you can’t sleep. Let’s see if we can talk with Ms. Marta about bringing in some small, quiet toys you can play with on your cot for when you can’t sleep.  These kinds of explanations help children feel safe, secure and in control—all of which builds their self-confidence and ability to cope and problem-solve. 
  
  
• Help your child understand complex situations.  As bright and verbal as 2-year-olds can be, there are many situations they face that can be quite confusing.  Helping them understand these experiences gives them confidence that they can handle them.  I know you are sad that Marco didn’t play with you at the park today.  He was already playing ball with another child.  But I know he still likes you and is your friend.  How about if we invite him over to play this weekend? 
  
  
• Share how you think through challenges: Hmmm, putting this toy together is kind of tough.  I am having a hard time.  But let me look at the directions again.  Can you pass me that part? Where do you think it goes? I think we can figure this out together!
  
  
• Take the time to watch and delight in your child’s accomplishments.  This shows you value her interests and builds her self-confidence as she sees herself as smart and capable (not to mention entertaining!). 
  
  
• Focus on your child’s efforts and feelings about her accomplishment (versus yours.)  Focus on your child’s efforts. For example: You are pushing the pedals so hard to make the tricycle go! Wow, you are so strong. Look, it’s moving—little by little.  This sends a very different message to your child than saying, Mommy is so proud of you!  First, it lets your child know that you are proud of her efforts.  She learns that she doesn’t have to succeed to be loved and valued by you. And, focusing on persistence and effort motivates children to learn new skills because it makes them feel good about themselves, not because they desire praise from others.  This is called “internal motivation” and it is a powerful force in later school achievement.
  
  
• Join in your child’s pretend play.  Let him be the “director.”  Take on whatever role you’re assigned, whether it is a T-Rex or princess, and have fun together. This lets your child know you value his ideas and see him as a leader which builds self-confidence.
  
  
• Use pretend play to help your child work through difficult feelings and experiences.  You can help your child express feelings he is struggling with when you join in his play.  Take on the role of one of the characters in the story your child is creating.  Make statements and ask questions about the feelings and situations your child acts out. For example, Bear seems really angry.  What is he mad about? Or, I wonder if Clifford is scared to play with the other doggies.  What can we do to help him? 
  
  
• Be specific about what you want your child to help with.  Please pick up your blocks, instead of, Let’s clean up the room.  Keep the task fairly small and within your child’s skills.  Manage your own expectations about how the task is completed.  If you ask your child to match socks, expect some mismatches.  If you ask your child to put the blocks away, you may still find some “strays.”  This is developmentally normal and just part of the learning process.
  
  
• Recognize and be specific about what your child accomplished: You counted out all 4 napkins and put them on the table.  Good job.  Now we can eat. This emphasizes to your child what an important contribution he is making.  Learning to help out will also help him later when he is asked to perform many “jobs” around the classroom.
  
  
• Empathize with her frustration.  You are working so hard to get your mittens on!  It takes time to figure it out.
  
  
• Ask her if she knows what may be causing the problem.
  
  
• Offer your observations--for example, that she has forgotten to poke her thumb into the thumb space of the mitten.
  
  
• Ask if she has any ideas about how to get it on correctly.
  
  
• Ask if she wants suggestions-- How about putting your thumb in first and then your hand?
  
  
• Provide the support she needs to be successful-- for example, helping her position her fingers to get them in correctly.
  
  
• When you see your child struggling, ask what kind of help he wants.  Getting shoes on can be so hard! Sometimes opening up the laces can make it easier. Would you like me to help you loosen them?
  
  
• Let your child see that you sometimes need help, too.  Ask others for help when you need it.  It is especially good for your child when you ask him for help:  Can you take one of the grocery bags in the house? Mommy’s hands are full.