What You Can Do to Encourage Your Baby’s Self-Confidence from 12-24 Months:

• Help your child develop self-awareness.  Point out the result of her actions. You put the toys away. That makes mommy happy.  Now we have time to read another book before bed.

• Help your child understand who she is as she grows. Trying new things can feel scary to you.  You need time to feel comfortable. Or, You have such strong feelings!  Sometimes it’s hard to keep them in control.  This kind of self-awareness helps children use what they know about themselves to manage successfully in the world.

• Support your child by using language—Are you looking for a big puzzle piece or a little piece? “What about trying another space?

• Offer direction—such as taking a puzzle piece and turning it so that it is easier to see where it might fit.

• Point out positive steps taken—such as noticing when your child tries a piece in a different space (even if it doesn’t fit).

• Recognize progress—by helping the toddler see how she has gotten closer to finishing the puzzle:  Look, you just got one more piece in.  Now you only have two more pieces to fit in their spaces and the puzzle will be done!

• Focus on the process more than the outcome. For example, point out how hard he worked to get his block tower taller. 

• Make a photo album that shows your child’s progress.  For example, take photos of a small block tower he has made and then another photo of the skyscraper he eventually created.

• Devise steps based on your understanding of what is challenging for your child. For example, if your child is afraid to go down the slide, you could slide down yourself to show him it’s safe, or have him slide a favorite stuffed animal or doll down first.  Then offer to stand behind him as he practices climbing the slide’s steps. Then see if he’ll go down on your lap, and then perhaps alone while holding your hand. Throughout, let him know you believe in him.  Also, make it clear that it is okay if he’s not ready to go down on his own yet. You are there to support him whenever he wants to try again.

• Show understanding and empathy when your child is struggling with a challenge.  You tried to pour your own juice. Good for you. Some juice is in the cup. Some spilled. That happens when you’re learning to pour by yourself. Let’s wipe it up with this sponge.  This lets children know it’s okay not to be perfect and helps them develop important coping strategies when things don’t go as planned.

• Model persistence. When you model persistence and confidence in yourself, your child will learn this too. This jar just won’t open!  It is sooo frustrating!  What else can mommy try?  I know, how about I run it under some hot water?  I heard that can help.   Then, when you are successful: Yea for mommy!  I didn’t give up. I did it! This shows your child how to persist and cope with challenging situations.

• Model confidence in new situations.  When you go with your child into a new situation or to meet a new person, if you look calm, confident and happy, it lets him know this is safe, good place or person and he is more likely to feel safe and confident as well.