What Grown-Ups Understand About Child Development: ZERO TO THREE Survey Results
In 2000, ZERO TO THREE conducted a national survey to learn what parents and the public know about child development. We’ve highlighted some of the key findings below, along with additional information on child development and behavior in the first three years. To read an executive summary of the survey’s results, click here.
Question: At what age do you think an infant or young child begins to really take in and react to the world around them?
61% of parents of children aged birth to 6 years believe that this does not occur until a baby is two months old or older.
Actually, babies are taking in information about and responding to the world around them even before they are born. Studies show that even while in the womb, babies have memories of sounds they have heard. Once born, babies only a few days old recognize and turn to their mother’s voice over other voices.
Question: At what age do you think a baby or young child can begin to sense whether or not his parent is depressed or angry and can be affected by his parent's mood?
55% of parents with children aged birth to 6 years believe a baby must be 3 months or older to sense the mood of his parent. 31% of parents with children aged birth to 6 years and 50% of "future parents"—adults who plan to have their first child in the next few years—believe a baby must be one year or older.
Studies have found that babies as young as one month old can sense, and will be affected by a parent who is depressed or angry. This helps us appreciate how sensitive babies are, and how deeply affected they can be by what's going on around them. It is important that parents and caregivers get the support they need not just for their own well-being, but for their child’s as well. If a parent’s feelings of anger or depression are interfering with taking care of their baby or themselves, it is important to reach out to a trusted friend or family member, and talk to a health care provider. To learn more, click here to visit the National Institute of Mental Health's website on depression.
Question: Should a 15-month-old be expected to share her toys with other children?
51% of parents of children aged birth to 3 years answered yes.
Research shows that 15 months is too young to expect a toddler to share. While certainly 15-month-olds are working on learning how to share, they are not yet able to truly understand what it means to "take turns". Rather than discipline, children this age need guidance around sharing. With your help—in finding another toy they can offer a friend, in directing their attention to another activity while they wait their turn, or in suggesting (and demonstrating) ways they can play with the toy together at the same time—young toddlers can begin to learn about sharing. By age 2 to 2 1/2, parents will start to see children sharing, though not consistently.
Question: Should a three-year-old be expected to sit quietly for an hour or so (for example, in a restaurant)?
Over a quarter (26%) of parents of children aged birth to six years answered yes.
While not all three-year-olds are alike, and some have the ability to sit quietly for longer periods, child development research shows that the typical three-year-old do not have this capacity. Their attention span and ability to wait are simply not developed enough to allow them to stay still, sitting in one place with little diversion for an hour. But there are some things parents can do to try and extend their ability to wait—such as by offering books, small toys, or crayons and paper as diversions.
Question: Suppose a 12-month-old walks up to the TV and begins to turn the TV on and off repeatedly while her parents are trying to watch it. It is impossible to know exactly why the child is doing this, however for each of the following reasons, please say how likely you believe that explanation is very likely, somewhat likely or not likely at all?
39% of parents and 46% of all adults believe it is somewhat or very likely that the child is doing this because she is angry at parents and trying to get back at them. Almost 90% of parents and all adults believe it is somewhat or very likely that the child is doing to get her parents' attention. 93% of parents and 88% of all adults believe this is either very or somewhat likely that the child is doing this because she enjoys learning about what happens when buttons are pressed.
While most parents and adults understand that this behavior may be motivated by a desire for attention or exploration, many parents may attribute “revenge” motivations to a child too young to experience them. Being “out to get” someone is a complex emotion—far beyond the typical one-year-old. This is important because the meaning that caregivers attribute to a child's behavior influences how they respond. If the behavior is seen as "bad," caregivers are more likely to react in a punitive way. But if caregivers see this behavior as a way the child is asking for attention or exploring the world around him they are likely to respond in a more supportive way.
Question: Some people say that a six-month-old, because he is so young, cannot be spoiled, no matter how much attention his parents give him. Others say that a six-month-old can be spoiled. Which do you agree with more?
Well over half (57%) of parents of young children believe a six-month old can be spoiled. Even more (64%) grandparents believe you can spoil a six-month-old.
Child development research tells us that six-month-olds are too young to spoil. In other words, "excessive" attention to a baby will have no long term spoiling effects on the child. In fact, research shows that babies this age whose needs are responded to in a timely and sensitive way are actually more independent as they grow. So, do not worry if you are picking up your infant when he cries or if a relative wants to spend time holding him. That’s how babies learn they are loved and cherished.
Question: Please tell me if you would rate the following behavior, on the part of a parent or caregiver, as appropriate OR as something that will likely spoil a child if done too often: "Picking up a three-month-old every time she cries."
44% of parents of young children labeled this as spoiling. The response was much higher (over 50%) among dads and parents with a high school degree or less. Grandparents and non-parents overwhelmingly view this as spoiling (60% and 63% respectively).
Child development research suggests that picking up a three-month-old every time she cries will not spoil her. And, in fact, it will lead to less crying as she grows, because she will develop trust that her needs will be met. Soothing her in these early months also helps her learn, over time, to comfort herself. So if you are struggling with daily choices to let your infant "cry it out" or go to her when she cries, do not worry that comforting her will spoil her. You are showing her that you understand and respect her needs, and that she can count on you to be there for her.
Question: Please tell me if you would rate the following behavior, on the part of a parent or caregiver, as appropriate OR as something that will likely spoil a child if done too often: "Letting a two-year-old get down from the dinner table to play before the rest of the family has finished the meal." 
Almost half (45%) of parents of young children and grandparents view this as spoiling.
Letting a two-year-old get down from the dinner table before the rest of the family has finished the meal won’t spoil him. The key here is that two-year-olds do not have the capacity to wait quietly for long periods of time, both because they are just beginning to develop patience and the ability to wait, and because they are very physically active. But your meal doesn’t have to end when your child is finished. When you sense he has had enough (both food and sitting in one place), you can offer him a toy or book to play with close by the table.
